Is it possible to raise a child without a belt? — Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Belt and rod: how to punish children for disobedience Porn with a belt on the butt

To be subjected to a well-deserved punishment in a dream means that in real life they will fairly pay tribute to your merits by generously paying them. Receiving a scolding from your superiors is a serious punishment in reality; giving a scolding to someone means acting carelessly towards your subordinates.

If in a dream you are subjected to physical punishment, that is, simply execution, it means that in reality you will become a victim of a slander. Being beaten with batogs and shouting at the same time means false rumors; hitting others with batogs means doing a boring task. Punish with rods - you will not refuse advice to friends. Test the rod on your back - you will emerge victorious from a difficult battle with a serious opponent. Getting hit with a belt means you will deservedly be condemned for rudeness. Punishing your children with a belt - such a dream foreshadows circumstances that are undesirable for you.

Punishment in the form of imprisonment in a guardhouse foreshadows unexpected encouragement from the authorities. Receiving an unfair punishment means that you don’t like your job, so you perform your duties just to get away with it.

If you are punished with a fine, this portends a health disorder. Avoid paying a fine - you will save money in reality. If you punish guilty children by putting them in a corner or depriving them of something, you will be forced to admit that you were wrong in an argument. A dream in which you resort to lying to avoid punishment means that you will act unfairly towards your friends.

Interpretation of dreams from the Dream Interpretation alphabetically

Dream Interpretation - Punishment, fine

Being punished in a dream means that you will not fulfill your assigned responsibilities because they irritate you. Paying a fine in a dream means illness and financial losses. Avoiding paying a fine is a sign that you will win the dispute. If parents dream that they are punishing their children, this means that they doubt the correctness of the educational methods they have chosen. Show more respect to your offspring!

Interpretation of dreams from

The relationship between spouses, both in the distribution of family responsibilities and sexually, is their conscious choice and their secret. The main thing is that each family member does not feel disadvantaged or humiliated, at least that’s what psychologists say. Some married couples even use a variety of methods of punishment and reward, so to speak, they resort to “carrot and stick” methods. For example, you forgot to pick up your child from kindergarten - you cook dinner yourself, or you stay too late with your friends - you may not think about a new dress for at least another month. But recently a friend told me about this type of punishment practiced in her family, like spanking with a belt on a soft spot. Husband punishing wife with belt - something new, right? Is it good or bad? How does this affect family relationships? Does this cause feelings of resentment and humiliation?

Today I would like to discuss precisely this topic, the subject of discussion of which, oddly enough, is gaining relevance every day. The basis of the discussion will be a discussion of such a piquant method of education using the example of my friend.

To begin with, I will make a small digression and voice the opinion of the main character of the story regarding this non-standard method of education used in their family. By the way, it should be noted that she does not consider spanking with a belt to be something non-standard and beyond the bounds of decency. Moreover, the rule was established at the very beginning of living together and was never perceived as violence or an attempt to humiliate the other half by hurting her in this way. Although, in my opinion, this standard of behavior is not suitable for every woman, and not every man is inclined to use physical force against his beloved. But, as they say, to each his own, so there cannot be a clear opinion on this matter.

Let's return to our heroes. You will probably think that the husband of the “poor thing” is a despot or a retrograde who, by punishing his wife, asserts himself and gets rid of negative energy. Not at all, oddly enough, but he is the complete opposite of the presented image. This is a rather charming and well-mannered young man who has achieved considerable success in business. In addition, he sincerely respects women, appreciates their work and is inclined to perceive his wife as an affectionate and feminine guardian of the family hearth, on whom the duration and quality of family relationships largely depends. It’s just that spanking, in his understanding, is a kind of piquant moment that adds variety to the daily life of spouses and, at the same time, is a useful and sometimes inevitable method of education.

Considering the similarity of views of both spouses, I would say that they feel quite comfortable and do not consider their family to be special or one where the rights and freedoms of the husband or wife are infringed. Each of them has every opportunity for self-realization and career growth, as well as understanding and support from the other half. At the same time, spanking with a belt does not in any way affect everyday relationships, but, on the contrary, disciplines and develops internal organization, which is important not only in everyday life, but also at work.

It is worth noting that the spouses who became the involuntary heroes of my story not only have strong family relationships, but are also good friends who can always come to each other’s aid. We can confidently say about them that they were lucky in choosing their second half and they are truly happy. Neither the husband nor the wife allow themselves to impose their opinion on the other spouse; everything happens by mutual agreement and taking into account the requirements and wishes of each family member. And this applies not only to everyday issues, but also to professional ones, which, by the way, cannot be said about many married couples in which such piquant rules do not apply. They are quite tolerant of each other's hobbies and interests.

By the way, punishment with a belt has a fairly positive effect on the sex life of the family in question. Spanking with a belt brings an additional erotic shade to the relationship between partners and is fertile ground for erotic fantasies, so it’s certainly impossible to call their sex boring and monotonous.

However, despite all of the above, flogging remains a fairly tangible method of punishment, which is used only in extreme cases and for fairly serious offenses. So to speak, punishment must remain punishment. So, for the first time, a friend received a lyula in the form of a flogging on a soft spot for smoking. It must be said that this peculiar participation of her husband did not pass without a trace and thoughts about smoking do not visit her to this day. However, the fact of physical impact on the psyche was not perceived by her as violence, although a minor offense was still present for some time. But this quickly passed, as the wife accepted her husband’s decision and realized that it was truly correct and useful not only for her, but for the whole family. Subsequent cases of flogging no longer entailed resentment and misunderstanding, but were perceived as a norm of behavior with the help of which one could, so to speak, eradicate the evil that threatens family happiness.

To make it clearer, I will add that the heroine of the story does not have a panicky and enslaving fear of her husband; moreover, the relationship between husband and wife is quite democratic. She happily returns home, eagerly awaits her husband from work, he will not miss the opportunity to pamper his wife with some surprise, to do something pleasant. Moreover, each of them is convinced that their concept of family happiness is correct and, if some couples adhered to exactly this model of behavior, perhaps the number of divorces and broken families, not to mention broken children’s destinies, would be significantly less.

The only taboo that spouses adhere to (and this is very important) is the inadmissibility of carrying out punishment in front of children. I note that they have been married for more than 6 years and have children. Children, in principle, should not see any manifestations of violence, especially between parents.

This is where my story about how a husband punishes his wife with a belt has come to an end, but you are free to draw your own conclusions regarding the positive and negative aspects of this method of education. As for me, if such a concept actually suits both, it is their right and their choice. After all, they don’t flog their neighbors who disturb their sleep and listen to music until midnight)

“I was punished, and I will punish!” - familiar phrase? How often can you hear it from adults. The whip method, as it is called in our country, or, more simply, “a belt on the butt” is a popular method of education. However, before punishing a child for bad behavior with a belt, it is worth thinking about the consequences that this method may entail.

From time immemorial

The first argument of those who know firsthand how children are punished with a belt is a reference to history. Of course, corporal punishment was considered the norm both in the Middle Ages and in Soviet communal apartments, and in Sharia countries they still throw stones at people!

Here psychologists advise you to think: if in Rus' children were punished with blows for any offense, the same thing was done with their peasant parents! In modern times, corporal punishment for adults, if we are talking about civilized countries, practically does not exist. If a person skips work, he will be fired; if he does not play sports and smokes, his health will suffer; if he starts stealing, he will end up in prison; if he offends his friends, he will remain lonely. But no one will beat him for these offenses! In this case, what will a child learn if he gets hit on the bottom? That after physical punishment comes forgiveness, that’s all. Thus, we will not accustom him to the realities of modern life, when for every action it is necessary to answer not with his butt, but with his head, but will only distort his idea of ​​\u200b\u200blife. So, maybe we should choose a more mature punishment and explain to the child why it is this way?

Why?

How do they punish children with a belt on the bottom? It hurts, with screaming, swearing, insults and crying. As a rule, this is done out of despair, when words no longer help. And after punishment comes an understanding of what happened and a feeling of guilt for one’s own actions. The result is obvious: it hurts psychologically for the parent, and physically for the baby.

Spanking a child with a belt can harm his health. It is worth admitting to yourself that this is not a method of education, but still physical violence, the desire to show one’s superiority and proof that the parent was not capable of more intellectual punishment. Psychologists call physical punishment excommunication from parental attention, in other words, blackmail: if you behave well, we love you, but if you behave badly, we don’t love you and beat you. It’s even worse when parents explain being hit with a belt by their love and care, saying they hit because they love. Experts are already equating this with oddities.

“If the head doesn’t remember, the butt will,” say moms and dads. “No, he won’t remember,” experts assure. But the head will record it in memory, and the child’s mind will want to repeat it, that is, to make sure of its superiority over the weak. Who is weaker than a boy or a girl of primary school age or adolescence? That's right, kids and animals. Perhaps there is no need to further describe the consequences of punishing a child with a belt.

One more thing - with our blows we teach the child to do everything to avoid punishment: lie, get out and follow the rules, no matter what. As a result, we risk getting someone who is not the most purposeful and capable person, because even in childhood, our parents showed us that if you do something against the will of your boss, you will receive punishment for it.

There are other options

Answering the question of how to properly punish children with a belt, psychologists unanimously repeat: give up physical violence altogether and learn to discuss any problem with your child. If you are unhappy with behavior that threatens the baby’s life, hold the baby and calmly explain what exactly should not be done. An older child can be given the opportunity to “step on a rake” in order to learn from his mistakes. Believe me, such a lesson will be much more clear than the notorious punishment of a child with a belt.

Psychologists also call family experiments a good educational measure. For example, one family saved money on food all week and gave up sweets and fruits in order to repay the amount that their son stole from friends. And in another family, the daughter constantly lost good mobile phones, and the parents bought her the most primitive phone, setting the condition that they would give her a better one, but only if she did not lose this one within two months. A teenager can be forced to work off the cost of damaged property at home, and a child can be forced to fix what is broken, wipe up spills, and so on. At the same time, parents, according to experts, should always be there and provide support.

Stop

It’s easy to give advice, but putting it into practice is another matter. Here are some tips to help you stop before using a belt to punish your child:

Call a spade a spade: not “I hit my butt with a belt,” but “I beat my child with a belt.” This phrase in itself forces one to abandon corporal punishment;

Think about what the child wanted to achieve with his behavior. It is unlikely that he was striving for something bad, he simply did not understand what this action could lead to. He is already worried, and you will only increase his stress. It’s better to have a heart-to-heart talk with your little one and explain why his behavior is bad.

Think about why you are now snapping at your child. Maybe, in fact, you are very tired and are going through a “dark streak”? Then rest, come to your senses and return to the conversation with your child after some time.

Involve one of your relatives in the conflict. Explain the situation to your other parent or grandparent. Perhaps you are slightly exaggerating the scale of the problem, and your relatives will not find it so significant.

Another important point: a parent for a child is, first of all, the personification of a protector; for mom and dad this is a very important role. But what do you do when the main defender raises his hand against you and punishes you with a belt? What then should the little man believe?

The main recommendation of experts remains one thing: correct behavior should be shown to a child by example. If you beat a teenager with a belt for smoking, do the same to yourself when you reach for another cigarette. The same applies to lateness, laziness, absenteeism, and so on. In any case, the child will be like you, so it’s worth educating yourself, first of all. And before you decide whether to punish your child with a belt, think: how long will you be stronger? After all, sooner or later the moment will come when the baby will mature, and you will become weaker than him. Maybe he will also decide to prove his superiority to his parents?

Spanking with belt

Whipping with a belt is an effective and efficient method in BDSM punishment. Actually, you can just flog for your own pleasure or according to the script of the thematic session, but there is one psychological nuance! Many people associate punishment with spanking the butt with a belt since childhood. Everyone knows from childhood that the word “belt” means the belt itself for supporting the pants and directly flogging them on the butt, in case of misconduct. And even if no one has ever spanked you, then, from the stories of other people, this association has already been ingrained in you from a young age.

In addition, the device has other options for use. For example, they can tie arms and legs, or use them as a leash. The undoubted advantage of the belt is that the Top always has it at hand, i.e. in trousers. Which can be useful if you want to have a short session outside the home.

There is no doubt that the Dominant gets pleasure from spanking and punishing a girl with a belt, and the Bottom can easily experience an orgasm, but in this case I would like to present precisely the aesthetics of punishment with this device, and not spanking followed by subspace.

When choosing an accessory, taking into account the specifics of its use, it should be taken into account that the strap should not be made of thick leather (all kinds of jeans and biker options are not suitable), it should not be rigid, and there should not be metal rivets or other accessories on it. The belt should be soft, not very wide, classic and without sharp inserts, with a small buckle (so as not to interfere), not from 3 to 5 cm wide. A narrow belt causes more intense pain. Wide ones are uncomfortable to work with.

Taking into account the above-mentioned psychological aspects of use, the device should not be used too often. And it is better precisely in moments associated with punishment. The spanking is carried out with the device folded in half, quite firmly. At the same time, blows with a plaque are unacceptable - I don’t think that a girl’s butt covered in bruises is a pleasant sight. In a word, in the hands of a real master, this is a good and pleasant device.

To flog the butt with a belt, it is better to wrap it folded in half around a fist, holding the buckle in your hand, and strike with the free flexible part 20-30 cm long.

A true sub is always ready to give the Master a strap in her teeth, looking devotedly into the eyes, wagging her ass and whining impatiently in anticipation of severe punishment.

Rod

A proper House should always have in its arsenal such an attribute of classical flogging as a rod. This device consists of flexible and thin twigs of trees (shrubs), collected in a bundle, or used individually. Previously, they were widely used for corporal punishment in everyday life, in courts, and in educational institutions. Nowadays they are adopted into service in the BDSM community.

We rightly believe that rods are an easy-to-use, environmentally friendly, disposable device. It's hygienic. They combine flexibility and bite. If they are selected and used wisely, then when working with a bottom girl, you can simultaneously cause significant pain without causing any harmful consequences to the body. Yes, marks remain, of course, but they quickly go away if you don’t push too hard.

By the way, there is an opinion that caning on the butt also has a healing effect... We cannot confirm or deny this. But at least we know for sure that the use of this device in BDSM has a strong educational and psychological effect for the bottom girl. In addition, if a girl is a masochist, then caning her butt will be simply pleasant.

There are different rods for punishment: walnut, willow, rowan, birch, etc. We prefer:

nutty - for stronger effects

birch and willow - for the weaker.

In addition, in the middle zone there is no problem in collecting the required amount of vicious material of good quality and completely free of charge. Which tree should you choose? Try experimenting with different ones and settle on the best one, depending on your tasks and the degree of impact.

Ideal canes are cut in the spring while they are moist and flexible. In appearance they are straight, long (up to 2.5 meters) and even rods. They have sufficient strength and weight, as well as other necessary qualities for a proper and good spanking of the bare bottom. In fact, you don't even have to soak them.

An important step in preparing for punishment is processing the cut rods. To maintain flexibility, it is better to use freshly cut branches. Then the branches dry out quickly, so it is customary to soak them. By drawing in water, they become more flexible and heavier.

By the way, if you are going to the forest to buy rods, know that it is better to choose the “golden mean” of the rod - cutting off the base and top, and leaving the device about 1 m long. The tip of the rod usually has about 2-3 mm. For a dozen of these classic rods, you should stock up on a couple or three with 5-6 mm at the tip, so to speak, for the most obstinate slaves, whose behavior may cause you serious concern.

It has been empirically established that for the Top the optimal length of the rod is the distance from his (her) neck to the tips of the fingers of an outstretched hand. This length promotes the most masterly and effective use.

Despite the fact that the branches seem to be a very harmless device, spanking can be bloody, depending on how much effort you put in and how much time you spend. But in any case, it will be superficial, and the device itself, acting as a limiter of excessive influence, will simply break. The main thing when choosing is not to forget about the optimal diameter of the rod.

Depending on the task or the degree of misconduct of the lower one, you can punish with rods

direct spring wrist blow,

firmly with a pull (in this case, marks are guaranteed).

An undoubted positive quality of the device is that you can quite easily calculate the force and direction of the blow.

When spanking, pace is important. The pain that the bottom girl feels does not weaken over time after the blow, but, on the contrary, intensifies in the range of 15-30 seconds following the blow. Therefore, it is better to pause between blows.

You can use either single rods or tied into a bundle of 3-6 pieces. If the rods are very thin, you can put up to 15 pieces in a bunch.

Note also that if you want to punish the bottom as effectively as possible, then the best option for this is soaked rods with completely peeled skin. They are the most painful!

Also, an effective practice in caning is the alternate use of twigs from different types of wood.

How to flog with rods and belts correctly and safely

Let's try to summarize the information we have on such an important issue as punishment with rods and belts:

1. Any impact device used for spanking and punishment requires practice. If you are a beginner, practice hitting an inanimate object.

2. If you practice spanking regularly, the skin becomes physically resistant to shock and less prone to breaking capillaries. And your devices “soften”.

3. Before spanking the butt with a cane or a belt, if it is a kind of ritual for you, it is advisable for the girl to take a hot bath or shower and relax as much as possible.

4. The most gentle position is on the Owner’s lap (it’s difficult for him to swing too hard). The most painful is to stand bent over, hugging your knees (when the skin is stretched, sensitivity to pain increases).

5. The inner thighs are the most painful part of the body to hit. However, this does not mean that you should not hit it.

6. The safest area for spanking is the convex surface of the buttocks, the top of the thighs. The outer thighs and sides are prone to bruising.

7. The blows are applied measuredly. The strength, tempo, amplitude and magnitude of the swing increase gradually. If you exclusively play role-playing games and require a light erotic spanking without visible marks, only with redness of the skin, do not strike with a full swing and measure the effort. It’s generally easier to work “with a swing from the elbow,” when the shoulder joint is relatively motionless. It is also necessary to ensure that the belt does not hit the edge.

8. If you have marks or bruises after the spanking, use special medications to treat them. (for example, troxevasin)

9. For the first spanking, choose products made of soft leather (if it is a belt) and thinner rods.

10. You need to know a sense of proportion - it’s better to flog ten times during the day than once, but hard and for a long time.

11. Usually spanking women and girls on the bottom with a belt or rod takes about 30 minutes.

12. If you are just starting to use such practices, spend time finding the optimal position, finding out which places are most sensitive and resistant to impacts, and calculating the required impact force so that the first experience does not discourage you from repeating it.

In general, in order to properly stuff a girl’s butt with a rod or a belt, you first stuff your hand.

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Spanking as a punishment belt

Jack: The belt always hung in the kitchen where I was spanked. It was not used as an item of clothing

Roma: belt hanging on a chair

Mickey: This is not a belt in the usual sense, but the object of punishment was always in one place.

ROMA BAGIEV: is located near the place of punishment, well, dad could take another belt, it all depends on the punishment, or is it planned in advance, or dad recently decided to use the rod, he is the enemy

Potap: the belt always hung on the chair in my room, it was used only for spanking, in special cases my father used a wide soldier’s one.

Glory: belt. Once my dad beat me with some kind of wire.

Muddy Ian: Mickey writes: ]This is not a belt in the usual sense, but the object of punishment was always in one place. And what kind of object was it? Potap writes: the belt always hung on the chair in my room, it was used only for spanking, in special cases my father used a wide soldier’s belt... And what special cases these were.

Potap: The belt always hung on the chair in my room - it was used only for punishment. On special occasions, Dad took a wide Sodat one.

alex: I bring it myself - what will they say

MaximSr: The spanking was not “planned.” She was rarely given a job and only for special offenses such as lying. Therefore, there was no special, “honorable” place for the belt. It hung in the closet along with other belts and belts.

blackhawk: I usually bring a belt from the wardrobe myself, there is a chance to choose at least not the hardest one, sometimes my mother gets the belt - this is much worse

Oleg Zadorkin: grandmother brings

amber:visel on the wall

Danya: dad takes off his belt or takes it from the shelf

Oleg Zadorkin: both for the holiday there is a festive tablecloth, and for spanking there is a separate belt. For many fathers, what is important is not the punishment of their offspring, but the words spoken so that he can immediately bring a belt from the fofare

lady_oksana: Oleg Zadorkin writes: For many fathers, what is important is not the refusal of their offspring, but the words spoken so that he would now bring a belt from the fofare I understood correctly: it’s not the result that matters. and the process?

Oleg Zadorkin: For some fathers, saying these words has more meaning and grandeur than punishment and the need for spanking

lady_oksana: Oleg Zadorkin writes: For some fathers, saying these words has more meaning and greatness Looks like I understand everything correctly :)

Pavel: Words can kill. But to stroke it with a terrible blow to the head - ?

Oleg Zadorkin: I beg your pardon, I wanted to express myself, he screams, he hits him loudly, as if he stroked his head, it doesn’t hurt

Den: An army belt that was taken from the closet specifically for spanking. Or my uncle would take off his from his jeans (but it was almost no different from the army one).

antoinetta: A thin leather belt, kept in my closet. At the dacha I received a rod; I didn’t take a belt with me on purpose. Once they flogged me with a braided belt, there was no other time. Very painful.

Pavka: My father brings the belt or jump ropes himself, they are in the closet. And in the summer at the dacha he cuts the rods from the willow bush just before the spanking, and at this time I have to lower my pants and lie down.

: usually the father himself brings a belt or jump rope,

Fox: Brought by the one who flogged

Mermaid-Anya: I cut the rods myself, and I also bring the object of punishment myself, whatever they say.

Christina: No experience. But the belt is kind of boring.

Natasha: The belt is still hanging on the wall above the sofa in my room. So you don’t have to go far to find it. And the rolling pin, but this is rare, my mother brought it herself.

Natasha: The belt is still hanging on the wall above the sofa in my room. So you don’t have to go far to find it. And the rolling pin, but this is rare, my mother brought it herself. And dad always spanked me with a belt.

Marina: Only with a belt. Either dad took it out of his trousers, or mother from the closet. A thin belt hurt more, and the marks did not go away for a long time, but dad also tore mercilessly with a wide belt, but it still didn’t hurt as much as a thin belt.

pendant: the jump rope hung in my parents' bedroom near the stove, on a rope, when necessary, my mother took it, and the belt in different ways, when my mother pulled it out of my trousers, if my belt was used, when she took it out of the closet for clothes. The cord was usually connected to the tape recorder and mother would disconnect it before the spanking.

Arina: Mom brings it herself

oksana: With a narrow belt, it hangs on a hanger. I bring it myself, as long as they don’t add more. They spank very hard, to the point of welts. And the last time my mother whipped me with a belt, and when my dad came home from work, he whipped me again, but at my mother’s request, with a jump rope. From the pain. I had circles in front of my eyes, I wanted to climb the wall, but he flogged me and flogged me. Now I’m terrified of jumping ropes, and my mother warned me that from now on they will definitely flog me with it.

Artemka: Mom spanks with a belt, step-sister beats, stepfather doesn’t touch with a finger

Mika: My grandfather had a belt on his belt. The wire was unfastened from the equipment. I often carried the jumping rope with me. Go out and pick the nettles, but I picked them. It was like this: he said go to the closet with belts and get a belt. I took a less harsh one, so for this, at 7 years old, another 20 blows, plus +10 for screaming

Maxoid: The “educational” belt was lying on a shelf in the closet, and I tried both rods and wires

Muddy Ian: Maxoid writes: The “educational” belt was lying on a shelf in the closet, and I tried both rods and wires Why did you get a belt, why did you get a rod, and why did you get a wire?

Victor#1: The soldier's belt was hanging in the corridor. My father always brought it.

Muddy Ian: Victor No. 1 writes: A soldier's belt hung in the corridor That is, only a belt was used for your punishment.

Tarelkin: I am always flogged only with a belt, once I was flogged with rods

Denis: Menja sekut rozgoj po goloj spine gotovjat rozgu pered samoj porkoj. Denis 17 let.

Lech: Flogged mainly with a belt. Most often I took it out of the closet and took it to my dad. Sometimes dad would take his belt out of his trousers. They also flogged me several times with a jump rope and a wire. Well, this is in extreme cases. And my wife said that she often got hit with a dog leash.

Minibus driver: Only flog with a military belt!

Matvey14: My father usually spanks me with a belt. An ordinary belt that he is currently wearing. There is no special belt for punishment. Several times the truth was a wide soldier's belt. Sometimes I get canings from my grandfather, but this is very rare.

Ruslan from Donetsk: There was a belt hanging in the closet. There were rods in the kitchen, behind the sink, but they were rarely used.

Alex710: Grandfather himself took out a belt or a “double-tail” from the closet, except for two cases when I was flogged with my own belt (it had a good buckle), which I myself took out of my shorts 9cm the topic of whether they flog you by putting it between your legs) and one more case, when I, being alone at home, “did things” and, out of shame, prepared everything for punishment (see the topic of spanking upon request). And so my “duties” included lowering my pants and underpants and lying down. I never forced the children to bring a belt. In my opinion, it is enough that they exposed their bottoms and lay down for punishment. Not everyone is capable of this either.

Alex710: And I saw a classmate’s belt hanging in the “scary corner”. In my opinion, it’s terrible to stand in the corner and see a belt in front of your very nose, with which you may or may not be flogged. It is not surprising that the boy was a coward.

Denis: Mudryj i drevnij Solomon skazal: rozga prednazdnachena dlja spiny neponimajuschego. A nash, sovremennyj chelovek, dobavil k etomu spisku, skakalku, provod, shnur, i drugoe. I porjat ne toljko po spine, ili po zadnice, no i po zhivotu i po drugim chastjam tela. Neuzheli glupostj cheloveka, ne imeet predela?

Alex710: Denis writes: Mudryj i drevnij Solomon skazal: rozga prednazdnachena dlja spiny neponimajuschego. A nash, sovremennyj chelovek, dobavil k etomu spisku, skakalku, provod, shnur, i drugoe. I porjat ne toljko po spine, ili po zadnice, no i po zhivotu i po drugim chastjam tela. Neuzheli glupostj cheloveka, ne imeet predela? King Solomon, of course, was wise. Even his enemies admitted this. But he also stumbled in life. What he honestly wrote about in the Bible. And the rod was intended specifically for the “misunderstanding”, and not for the notorious criminal. And criminals were punished with terrible whips with knots, woven bones and metal balls, and then only on the back and below. And as for jump ropes, wires, etc. , then in our time they are sometimes intended, alas, not for criminals. namely, “not understanding” and this, of course, is excessive cruelty. A rod or a belt is quite enough. As for belly spanking, this is generally worse than any ancient savagery. You can simply cripple a person.

einars: I don't understand this. I remember well how it was for me and how I felt. I was taken to my room. Nobody said what would happen, but I already understood it. On the way, my father took the rods, which were usually prepared and stood on the closet. Then there was a short question about what had been done and an order to lower his pants. I automatically touched the top of my pants, but more to hold it down than to pull it down. And, naturally: “I won’t do it again. Sorry. No need. etc." Then they took off my pants, put them over my knee or on the bed, and the process began. I tried to cover myself with my palms, turning them opposite the rod and trying to grab the rod as far from my butt as possible. The only thought was that it would end sooner. Before the spanking began, the thought was to somehow postpone it, or at least delay time. Any action aimed at receiving a spanking would be unnatural. I received a spanking, but they didn’t break me. I had the right to not want to, which is very important. When I flogged myself. I tried to follow the same principle. True, there were some changes sometimes. If you need to find out some details, this can be done right before the spanking. When the ass is already prepared and the rod is in hand, it’s time to ask questions. If a child knows that any attempt to lie or withhold an answer will result in a whistling of the rod, then the answers will be reliable.

Alex710: einars writes: I tried to cover myself with my palms, Doesn't a rod hurt your hands? einars writes: The only thought was that it would end sooner So the sooner it starts, the sooner it ends. And there will also be an “additive”. einars writes: I received a spanking, but they didn’t break me A person who repents and understands that he deserves punishment is more likely to bring a “tool” for punishment than someone who is broken. einars writes: If you need to find out some details, this can be done right before the spanking. When the ass is already prepared and the rod is in hand, it’s time to ask questions. If a child knows that any attempt to lie or withhold an answer will result in a whistling of the rod, then the answers will be reliable. And if it turns out that the person already lying with his butt exposed is not guilty? Then what should I say: “get dressed”? No, you need to find out the details earlier, and not when the child is already prepared. It’s reminiscent of psychological torture, when people were put against the wall and shot above their heads. This is where you can break down.

einars: 1. The child has the right to be reluctant. He has the right to hope that a miracle will happen. He may hope that he will be forgiven. That's what repentance is for. 2. In this way, you can find out details and other actions, and not the fact itself, whether it is necessary. The presumption of innocence is not only for the rod, but also for suspicion, as far as possible. The child must be sure that even at home without reason he will not be accused of anything. If suspicions are expressed to him, then he knows the reason.

Alex710: einars writes: The child has the right to not want to. He has the right to hope that a miracle will happen. He may hope that he will be forgiven. That's what repentance is for. It is unlikely that a miracle will come from resistance. Rather, on the contrary, he will receive more. einars writes: The presumption of innocence is not only for the rod, but also for suspicion, as far as possible. The child must be sure that even at home without reason he will not be accused of anything. If suspicions are expressed to him, then he knows the reason. Agree. But the “word of defense” must come before the removal of pants.

einars: 1.And it just depends on us whether there will be supplements and for what. I don’t need to be listened to just because I can kick my butt. My requirements are always justified and clarified. If I am forced to take the rod, then I will explain that too. I don’t dispute the opinion that flogging is wrong, but I have my own arguments for why I do it in a particular case. A child has the right to believe that spanking is the wrong remedy. Forcing him to do something for his own flogging means challenging his right to opinion. I don’t need a slave, I need to raise a free-thinking person. Maybe this won’t turn his consciousness back, but I still don’t need it. I’ll take off my pants myself and put them on my knee. I will hold your hands and feet. It's not that hard, why didn't my parents manage it? 2. I agree. Never stated the opposite.

Alex710: einars writes: I don’t need to be listened to just because I can kick my ass. My requirements are always justified and clarified. If I am forced to take the rod, then I will explain that too. I don’t dispute the opinion that flogging is wrong, but I have my own arguments for why I do it in a particular case. A child has the right to believe that spanking is the wrong remedy. Forcing him to do something for his own flogging means challenging his right to opinion. I don’t need a slave, I need to raise a free-thinking person I agree with almost everything. It still seems to me that a child should be afraid not of the spanking itself, but of the actions that can lead to it. Bringing the belt to the child himself, of course, is not at all necessary, but he must realize that the punishment is deserved, and that they didn’t just want to beat him. And if you realize it, it’s quite possible to prepare yourself (to lie down without resistance and bare your butt). But it is also impossible to force someone under threat of additional punishment.

Svetka-Bekky: Mom brought it.

Nikita-80: Dad always brought the belt himself or took it off his trousers. Once he asked me for a belt for his brother. In response to my remark: “You’re wearing your own,” he quietly replied: “No, that hurts” (my brother was about 5, so wanted to hurt).

Monya: Dad took it off his trousers or brought it from the closet. Mostly with a wide belt. The spanking is very strong and painful.

Monya: Usually spanks with a regular belt, which he is currently wearing.

SS: Monya writes: Dad took it off his trousers or brought it from the closet. Mostly with a wide belt. The spanking is very strong and painful. they write here, and common sense dictates that it is difficult to give a painful spanking with a wide belt.

Svetka-Bekky: Monya writes: Mostly with a wide belt. The spanking is very strong and painful. SS writes: they write here, and common sense dictates that it is difficult to flog a sick person with a wide belt It will hurt, of course. But compared to the narrow one, as my childhood friend Igor would say: “complete nonsense.”

Svetka-Bekky: Monya writes: Usually he spanks with a regular belt, which he is currently wearing. Does he wear trousers with a belt at home? Most people wear sweatpants at home.

Monya: Not wide, but regular. At home I wore sweatpants. But if he came home from work and immediately found out what she had done, he took the belt off his trousers, and if he found out later, he took it from the closet.

Selena: Monya writes: Mostly with a wide belt. Monya! Everyone knows that a thin strap beats more painfully, and a jump rope hurts even more! So, you don't get the hardest option. Although I know that when they beat me with a dress brush, the pain was also not so acute. But I got up and couldn’t feel my butt. And then the pain did not go away for a long time and seemed to concentrate in the depths of the buttocks. Any spanking is painful.

oksana: the most painful thing is a rubber jump rope

Svetka-Bekky: Selena writes: Everyone knows that a thin strap beats more painfully, and a jump rope hurts even more! So, you don't get the hardest option. oksana writes: the most painful thing is a rubber jump rope The girls “know a lot.” "Our".

zhivago: Rusalka-Anya privet

Alex710: zhivago writes: Rusalka-Anya privet Who are you? There don't seem to be any mermaids here.

Kaori: The belts were always in one place - hanging in the closet. When needed, they simply took it out from there.

Lola25: He took off his trousers or brought a belt from the closet.

katya: Taken off trousers or brought from the closet

Nikita-80: katya writes: Took it off my trousers or brought it from the closet Well, just as copied from the previous post. Who brought it? How did you shoot - slowly or jerking? And the closet was in the same room or at another, also exciting moment. It’s one thing when you hear a belt buckle ringing against the closet door, and another thing when a belt “appears” in the room unexpectedly in a punishing hand.

katya: If he took it off his trousers, he pulled it off. And if it was from the closet, then he went into another room and took it from the closet.

uip: Ruslan from Donetsk writes: There were rods in the kitchen, behind the sink - but they were rarely used. Where were the rods prepared in urban conditions?

Kate: Well, my father was a military man, there were enough belts in the house - both military and civilian, and there was a sword belt. So, when I flogged officers, it didn’t hurt so much, but with a sword belt. Well, narrow belts also hurt a lot... Either I took them off my trousers or took them out of the closet.

luna58: Father or mother removes the belt from the jeans that are usually hanging in the closet.

Carlson: I took my belt out of my trousers or took a dog leash from the hallway, wicker, leather and very long. With a loop at the end. It was very painful for them. Moreover, there was no gradation - why is it a belt, why is it a leash. I took whatever was closest.

Nadya2550: Father takes off his trousers.

Irina-1960: Father himself took the belt out of the closet, such an old army one, and when he switched to rods, he also brought the tub from the closet himself.

Onion grief: And I already wrote that only my mother punished me, and even then humanely, with a belt through my pants. And that was painful. I became acquainted with real rods and jumping ropes later, when my wife and I were playing, well, let’s say, Cossack robbers. I am naturally a robber, my wife is a Cossack, and what does a Cossack do when he meets a robber? (Tsapki don’t count, it’s the other way around). Right. Punishes. The case usually took place in the village, in a log house almost a meter thick. so shout as much as you want from real devices. Well, what can I tell you, it’s so painful that I don’t even understand how children endure it. But that's not what I'm talking about now. The rods are lovely, of course, but not for me, I’m afraid like the fire. The jumps are different. There is a new type, some kind of soft synthetic thread, thin, even I sometimes tolerated it. Old? harder rubber, real, pain at the level of rods. But I have some old thickened jump ropes. I highly recommend it, I received it once and hid it from my wife as a device incompatible with life. In fact, on my avatar, there’s a photo of me at a tender age, how can you really have such a sweetheart and it hurts so much? By the way, where is the avatar?

Juliana: Onion grief writes: Well, what can I tell you, it’s so painful that I don’t even understand how children endure it. Onion grief, children have no choice.

Onion grief: Juliana writes: Children have no choice. That's for sure. It’s a pity that not all parents understand that raising a child does not necessarily mean spanking.

Juliana: Onion grief writes: It’s a pity that not all parents understand that raising a child does not necessarily mean spanking. Good grief, they don’t teach this anywhere how to raise children correctly.

terry: Juliana writes: This is not taught anywhere about how to raise children correctly.. how to properly spank children.

Juliana: terry writes: .how to spank children correctly. terry, and you also need to be able to spank correctly.

terry: Juliana writes: you also need to be able to spank correctly I do not know. You know better :)

Juliana: terry writes: You know better :) Yes, Terry, I can see better from above and below.

terry: Juliana writes: I know better Julia, I’ve already told you many times: finally, choose one thing. How can you be both above and below at once? We need to decide.

Onion grief: Juliana writes: Yes, Terry, I can see better from above and below. Yulianochka, this can only mean one thing: it’s not you who are in the topic, but the topic is in you.

Juliana: Onion grief writes: Yulianochka, this can only mean one thing: it’s not you who are in the topic, but the topic is in you. Onion grief, it’s all the same... like whether it’s in the forehead or on the forehead, it’s all the same.

Tttt: the belt was usually dad, and after it disappeared, the neighbor was pulled out of his trousers and kept at the ready, folded in half, while I got naked.

nika50: Father brought it from the closet or took it off his trousers.

Jury: Juliana writes: Children have no choice. Children have a choice - to behave as their parents demand. Well, if you don’t always want it, then there is no choice, be patient.

Juliana: Jury writes: Children have a choice - to behave as their parents demand. Jury, parents, unfortunately, can still be in a bad mood.

Jury: Juliana writes: Unfortunately, parents are still in a bad mood. Well, you yourself said that they flogged only for the cause (in their opinion), and did not beat simply because of a bad mood. The severity of the punishment depended on the mood, as I understand it. They always flogged them for getting a bad grade, but how severely they would get hit depended on a lot of circumstances, including their mood. But the choice was yours - to study and do your homework so that there were no Cs or Ds.

Juliana: Jury writes: The severity of the punishment depended on the mood, Jury, and strictness too. And it also happens that you get it for practically nothing. Only because the mood is bad and you asked your parents something.

Jury: Juliana writes: Only because the mood is bad and you asked your parents something. But there is no need to ask such inappropriate questions, for which you can immediately get your ass!

Juliana: Jury writes: But there is no need to ask such inappropriate questions, for which you can immediately get your ass! Jury, you never know in advance what you will get and what you won’t.

Jury: Juliana writes: so you never know in advance what you will get for and what not. Oh, well, this time I really don’t believe it. Surely these were some “cunning” questions, with some kind of subtext, or maybe a question about resolving something that was known in advance to be inadmissible. 🙂 But you still wanted to hear the answer “you can’t!” again, and continue this conversation, and why not, and when it will be possible, and why can Masha, Sashka, but not me?

Juliana: Jury writes: Surely these were some “cunning” questions, with some kind of subtext, Jury, there were quite normal questions, statements of opinion, to which the answer was: I see, are you too smart?

Jury: Juliana writes: completely normal questions, expressing your opinion Here you go! That’s what I was saying, that these weren’t exactly harmless questions that could get you in the butt. And this opinion expressed in the question was probably different from the opinion of the parents. And, most likely, you knew in advance that this was so

Juliana: Jury writes: most likely, you knew in advance that this was so Well I was smart beyond my years

Jury: Juliana writes: I was smart beyond my years I already guessed about this

Juliana: Jury writes: I already guessed about this Is it true? And how long?

Jury: Juliana writes: Is it true? And how long? Well, that’s how I collected everything you wrote here, piece by piece, and created the image of such a pretty, smart and very positive girl.

Juliana: Jury writes: the image of such a pretty, smart and very positive girl was created

Leda25: Father brought a belt.

Leda25: The father takes off his pants or brings them from the closet.

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In each family, the questions of how and for what to punish a child - and whether to punish at all, how and for what to praise and reward - are resolved in their own way. In different cultures, in different countries, there are certain traditions that are very different from each other. In some places it is generally not customary to punish children until a certain age. For example, in Japan, it is not customary to even raise your voice to a child – neither to your own child, nor even to someone else’s. In some countries, any corporal punishment is prohibited by law. In our country, heated debates flare up when discussing this issue. Somehow, historically, in our country it turned out that punishing children was a matter of course. Let us at least remember an excerpt from “Childhood” by Maxim Gorky, which we all read with horror at school, when the grandfather punishes Alexei for ruining the tablecloth, and there is more than one such example even in the literary works of the school curriculum...

Recently, the situation has changed for the better, but even now many people consider the belt to be almost the most effective means of education. Today we will figure out why parents resort to such harsh measures, whether they are justified, and whether there are alternatives to traditional punishment.

It would seem that in Russia not so long ago there was a desire to abolish excessively strict treatment of children, but the idea is far from new. Back in the 18th century, the French philosopher Charles Montesquieu said the following words: “Children must be treated gently because punishment hardens them.”

Together with a child medical psychologist Marina Metnyova We discuss education issues...

“First of all, I agree with Montesquieu that children should be treated gently. Moreover, I believe that punishment is a manifestation of the weakness of an adult, a stronger person in relation to a weak child. You always need to look specifically at what you are punishing for, how do you punish and is it possible to avoid it? In the absolute majority of cases, there is no need to punish, but you need to talk, discuss, explain... Unfortunately, parents often do not know how to talk with children. They are not taught this, because this was not the case with them in childhood either acted - they were simply punished and that's all. After punishment, the child feels offended and insulted. The path to analyzing the action is cut off. Maybe he did something carelessly, or did not know something, or did not realize what could be done differently to another. A conversation is not a list of directives, orders “do your homework, get away from the computer, wash the dishes.” A conversation is listening to each other, trying to understand each other’s point of view. And it must start from birth.

When it comes to a threat to life and health, a sharp, categorical reaction is justified, but it is imperative to explain what the danger is and why they are being punished.

You can often hear from parents that they punish for cheating. This is really unpleasant, always annoying, but you need to understand why children lie, you need to understand the motives for lying. Not in all hundred percent, but in the overwhelming majority of cases, the lie is dictated by the child’s fear. Fear of being punished. He lies - and he is punished again. The task of parents is to recognize this fear, to understand why the child is afraid to say that he did not learn his homework, skipped school, broke a cup - did something that is actually not so terrible. If these situations were sorted out through dialogue and the reasons were explained, then perhaps the child would not have to lie. He would understand that he would meet an adult who understands and trusts him.

Parents sometimes find it difficult to cope with irritation - it's true. Everyone has their own personality traits, and some people react very violently to what is happening. In such cases, it would be nice for parents to learn to admit their mistakes and be able to say “I was wrong.” The trusting relationship does not go away then, the child understands that parents are also living people, they can break down, but they can also admit their guilt.

Bargaining with your child over punishment is fraught with consequences. After all, “trade” is essentially blackmail. To encourage any person (not only a child, but a child in particular!) to do something of their own free will means to ensure this action or the result of the action by experiencing positive emotions. Understand that the driving motive for voluntary actions (I don’t mean fear) is positive emotions, which are not necessarily associated with material rewards. You clean your apartment because you feel good when it’s clean. You cook dinner because you like it to taste good. Yes, a child may not want to clean, this is not yet a value for him. Try to find something that might attract him. You can do the cleaning together while talking and laughing. The child receives joy from the fact that he is with you at this moment.

Measures are unjustified when, as punishment, parents choose actions that should bring positive emotions. For example, if you’re guilty, read 50 pages or do 10 push-ups. It turns out that these actions begin to be associated with negativity. Think about what you want from your child at this moment. Teach him? This is not how they teach, this is how they create hatred towards learning and gymnastics.

Let's admit to ourselves honestly: punishment is often based on the desire to throw out one's irritation, to humiliate, to suppress a child. Adults do not admit this to themselves, because these are very ugly feelings, but, unfortunately, they often motivate parents when communicating with a child in a conflict situation.

Corporal punishment is considered dangerous and unacceptable by many parents, but not only physical measures are dangerous. Sometimes parents stop talking to their children as punishment. This is a deadly measure. There is a known case when a mother did not speak to her child for two months, and he committed suicide. Psychological punishment can be even more severe than physical punishment.

Parents often borrow the model of education, punishment and rewards from their childhood. Is it possible to take the good and discard the ineffective and cruel methods? At parental competence training, I offer this exercise. Remember yourself, your childhood. Was there a person in your childhood with whom you felt very good? Who spoiled you “unpedagogically”, secretly slipped you “harmful” candies, always listened to you, did not judge you? Who was this man? Almost every adult had one like this. Either dad, or grandfather, grandmother, neighbor... It would seem that he violated all the rules of the “correct” education system, but with this person you felt best. Why don't you be the same "wrong" teacher for your children? A person who will always pat you on the head, console you, caress you, no matter what happens. May your child have a good time with you when he is a child.

In our country, the point of view remains that you cannot spoil a child, you cannot indulge him. What does it mean to indulge? I completely agree with Bulat Okudzhava, who said in the song: “let’s live in everything, indulging each other, especially since life is so meek.” Admit it, you yourself want to be indulged? But few of us are ready to do this for others...

Of course, it is necessary to analyze each specific case. Sometimes, if we are talking about a danger to health and life, there is only a strict explanation, a ban, and, if necessary, more stringent measures. And if we are talking only about your ideas, as it should be - and who said that they are true? Adults' perceptions can also be distorted. For example, one mother demanded from her daughter that at the age of three she sit neatly at the table and know how to hold a fork and knife. But this is impossible! There is no need to confuse our sometimes absurd desires and real needs.

Ideally, when raising a child, parents should provide him with a continuous stream of rewards for the slightest achievement. No one is asking you to spend money, we are talking about verbal encouragement, emotional encouragement. Your praise costs nothing, but is very important for the child; it creates pleasant emotions if the child succeeds in something. If it doesn’t work out, you need to encourage him: “It’s okay, you’ll definitely be able to do it next time!” Try to protect your child from criticism as much as possible, otherwise he will not even want to try to do something. Remember, when you were three or four years old, and even then, everything worked out right away?

The question often arises about the acceptability of monetary remuneration within family relationships. If you have a trusting relationship with your child, he is self-confident and knows how to behave - we now mean an older age - then why not encourage him financially to the best of his ability? That's not the question. The problem is to maintain emotional closeness, the joy of communicating with each other, and not to replace it only with material rewards - that’s what is important. Everything else is external and very secondary. At the same time, you need to keep your promises; if you agree on something with your child, you need to keep your word.

Placing guilt on a child means manipulating him. Remove responsibility from yourself, a strong adult, and shift it to a weak little one.

Some children tolerate punishment and raised voices quite calmly, while for others, due to their character, even the slightest dissatisfaction from an adult causes tears. There are extremely sensitive children, and there are those whose defense mechanisms work better. It is imperative to take into account the child’s character. But this does not mean that if a child or teenager calmly accepts punishment, you can punish him more.

Anxiety, fear, aggression, negativism, reluctance to communicate with parents - all these negative emotional manifestations are a signal that you have gone too far, done something wrong, or maybe you have already done something wrong many times.

It is a mistaken belief that harsh treatment in the family is a preparation for the cruelty of the world. Preparation for this should be done exactly the opposite. If in the family a child develops self-love and self-respect, if his loved ones love, support and accept him, then the terrible thing that can happen to him outside the family will be psychologically easier to experience. He will be able to confront the outside world adequately, as a strong and full-fledged person. It is a serious and deep misconception to think that by poking and humiliating parents prepare a child to withstand the cruelty of the world. So you will achieve the exact opposite result - turn him into a weak, insecure, complex person, a victim of someone’s unscrupulous manipulations.

It is not at all necessary to idealize the world around us; yes, it is not ideal. But I - your mother, your grandmother, your grandfather, father - love you, and you can always rely on me. If you encounter something terrible, you have a reliable rear. The model of behavior in the family is perceived by the child as true and correct. If you humiliate him and say that it will be even worse in the future - in the world - then he will get used to being humiliated, and he will also take the humiliation of the outside world for granted. Or he will be aggressive himself - depending on what position he takes.

I wish you to punish your children as little as possible and endlessly encourage them - for all the good things, simply for the fact that they are in your life.”